What counts more – the actual gift, or the feeling and effort behind it?
What constitutes a gift – the object being gifted, or the thought put into it?
We, as a society, have reached a point where we are so busy with our lives, that we don’t have the time to go to a gift store and pick up a nice gift for its intended receiver. Or the mindspace to put in thought behind it. Or the desire to put in the effort required to make a hand-made gift. Unless the receiver is really dear to us.
Enter, cash. And gift cards. That wonderful saviour invented by ingenious businesspersons, intended to ‘save’ you from having to make a trip to the gift store. Or from having to put in thought behind a gift. Or to kill the desire to put in the effort required to make a hand-made gift. Because, as the businesspersons would tell you, it’s all about ease. And convenience.
And this makes the gift an indicator of how close we are to the person who is receiving it. Or rather, is at the receiving end of our laziness/apathy/indifference gift-wrapped as a ‘gift’.
In gifting cash, or even gift cards, we eliminate the element of thought at the end of the giver; and that of surprise, that intrinsic attribute of a gift, for the receiver : The elements that are actually more important than the contents of the gift itself.
In fact, in essence, the phrase ‘gifting cash’ is a misnomer. One can say, ‘giving cash’, but not ‘gifting cash’.
Giving someone cash, noble though people make it sound (“He can use the money to buy whatever he wants to”, “Gifting cash is gifting flexibility and freedom”), is actually escapism on part of people, it is woolly-coddling their lack of effort, marketing their lack of feelings so as to appear as if they care so much for the other person. It is escapism from having to put in thought, from having to put in the time, effort, and energy, into the gift. This makes cash a lax gift at best, and an anti-gift at worst. ‘Gifting’ cash takes away the sincerity out of the act of gifting, takes out the feelings attached to it. Which is the central underlying theme and reason for gifting in the first place. You don’t give someone a product as a gift because they can’t purchase it themselves; the thought rather is the gift. Isn’t that why hand-made gifts and cards so much better?
In giving someone cash, this actual value of a gift is taken out of the equation; leaving the ‘gift’ bland, tasteless, thoughtless, and disappointing.
Besides, much of the fun of receiving a gift is opening it afterwards, un-ribboning and unpacking it, guessing as you go as to the contents of it. This joy of taking a gift packet in your hands and sizing it basis it’s shape and size to guess its contents, is in actuality, more pleasurable than using the gift item itself.
Which brings us to another aspect. Which is – Who really goes out to buy anything off the cash received as ‘gift’? It, more often than not, goes into the wallet, only to end up with the fruit seller or spent in the office canteen. So much for a gift. In fact, the act of loading the decision-making around the gift to be bought onto the receiver, is a disservice to him. Hence, I call it an anti-gift. The receiver then has to make an effort to go to the store, online or offline, and buy something, if at all. The central tenet of gifting is to give the receiver something without him having to move his ass. The gift goes to the receiver, the receiver shouldn’t have to make an effort in procuring the gift.
Be it kids or adults, everyone loves presents, and the secret of what’s inside it. The gift, actually, is this element of secrecy, not the actual contents. Don’t take that joy from those you love. Gift them your effort. They’ll appreciate it more. Even small, unremarkable gifts, given with love, and full of effort, matter more than big expensive gifts. Expensive gifts are in fact, more often than not, hollow in feelings, superficial in character; and the very purpose of a large expensive gift is to cover that hollowness with the superficiality of an expensive gift: its price.
Cash is thoughtless, emotionless, cold, and meaningless. That’s not what a gift is intended to be. Quite the contrary, in fact. Effort, thought, feeling – now that’s a warm gift. Don’t take that away from the person being gifted. And if you can’t, it’s better to not gift anything at all.
For ‘nothing’ is better than a ‘tasteless’ thing.
What’s the best gift you have given a loved one?
What do you think of cash as gift?
Comment-box below.
